Friday, July 06, 2007

An Open Letter To The Loud Guy On The Train This Morning

Dear Loud Guy -

Thank you for ruining my morning.

Let me make one thing clear: as you repeatedly stated in decibels unnecessarily high for the enclosed El car we shared today, you do have every right to speak your mind out loud. I'm not going to argue that. You have the right to do so. Why, however, did you feel it necessary to? No one was hassling you, no one was infringing upon your rights. You simply took your riding companion's simple request to "please don't speak so loud" as an affront to your civil liberties. It wasn't. It was simply a request. But thank you for taking the next 20 minutes of my non-stop ride from Belmont to Howard from me for your ignorant and highly audible rant.

I just wanted to read my book. The rest of the passengers just wanted to ride to work or school and retain those last few moments of relative serenity before starting their hectic lives. But no. You're clearly the most important person in the world, and what you want to do trumps what everyone else wants to do. But, Mr. Obtrusive, just because you can do something, doesn't mean you have to do that something. I can ram my pen into your neck. I have the physical capability to do so. I chose not to, however, much to the chagrin of every other rider on that train. You could have realized that it was 7:15am and people really weren't awake yet, but you chose to ignore that fact for your selfish and stupid eardrum-collapsing diatribe to no one in particular, lasting the entirety of my ride. Your friend riding with you was not laughing with you, loud sir. She was laughing in uncomfortable embarrassment of you.

Again, no one was "trying to keep you in shackles", as you stated several times, in emphatic fashion. And no, you are not "like Jesse Jackson, like Louis Farrakhan, like Martin Luther King" just because you want to yammer on loudly on the train, no matter how many times you invoke their names, in an especially vociferate manner.

So to recap, you are within your rights to speak your mind. But as I said to you when I exited the train, you are "an ignorant loudmouth jackass" for opting to do so in such a deafening way during my morning commute.

Up yours,

Corey

2 comments:

RANDOM LOUD GUY said...

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME??? I WASN'T EVEN ON THE RED LINE ON THE DAY IN QUESTION. WHY DO YOU FEEL IT NECESSARY TO BURDEN THE REST OF THE CAR WITH YOUR COLD, CALCULATING SILENCE?

YOU SAID THAT YOU JUST WANTED TO READ YOUR BOOK AND I'M SURE THAT YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE PEOPLE WILL SYMPATHIZE WITH YOUR HUMBLE DESIRE. THAT IS, UNTIL THEY LEARN THAT THE BOOK YOU WANTED TO READ IS ACTUALLY THE ANARCHIST'S COOKBOOK! A LITTLE LIGHT READING FOR THE TERRORIST-IN-TRAINING, EH? PLANNING TO DERAIL THE EL, WERE WE? WHAT NEXT? WITH YOUR NEWFOUND SUCCESS AND NOTHING TO STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR BLOOD-LUST, WHAT WOULD BE NEXT MR. QUIET BUT PISSED OFF GUY READING ON THE EL? WHAT WOULD SLAKE YOUR THIRST FOR DESTRUCTION? WHAT UNTOLD DEVASTATION WOULD BE HEAPED UPON THE WORLD ONCE YOU ACHIEVED YOUR MEGALOMANIACAL GLORY?

FACE IT BUSTER, PREVENTING YOU FROM READING THAT BOOK IS A STEP AWAY FROM GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR. DO YOU WANT TO PLAY ANOTHER GAME? YEAH! I SAVED AMERICA, PAL - MOM, APPLE PIE, BASEBALL. AMERICA, F*CK YEAH! I SAVED THE WORLD. I'M HAPPY THAT I SAVED THE WORLD FROM THE LIKES OF YOU EVEN IF IT IS FOR JUST ONE MORE DAY.











ok, so maybe i was on the red line that day.

corey said...

it's cool. i was on the purple line. you must be a different loud guy.