Thursday, January 24, 2008

Worst morning ever

This morning I headed out into the cold all bundled up. I didn't want to leave the house, but I had a doctor's appointment. It took me a month to get that appointment.

I knew the car was low on gas and was debating on whether to fill up before or after the appointment. Once I got in, the gas light came on, so I no choice but to gas up right away.

Let me take this moment to remind you how cold it is in Chicago. According to, it's 10 degrees here, but feels like - 5. According to me, it feels like a 40 below. It's so damn cold here. Still, I figured I'll just quickly get the gas and get back in my car and get the heat blasting. The car didn't have a chance to warm up on the way to the station.

And so begins the drama. The gas tank door wouldn't open! I tried everything! A couple of men even tried helping me. At one point we used a screw driver and a knife to jimmy open the door. Nothing. At this point, my toes were starting to hurt because it's so cold. I went inside to ask for some de-icer and of course they didn't have any.

At this point I'm almost in tears from the cold, I missed my doctor's appointment and now have to drive to another gas station in hopes that they'll be able to help me. That and hope not to run out of gas completely.

At the second gas station, I again got help, but this time I also got a lecture from the attendant. I think he was trying to be funny, but the more he said, "well this wouldn't have happened if you got your gas here instead of somewhere else" the more frustrated I became. Jackass! I don't care. Just help me here. I don't know if it was just the de-icer that helped because they also had me open the trunk so they could hook up a cable that had apparently frozen or come undone. Then as I filled up my take he started lecturing me on needing tires. Eff you dude. Leave me alone! I'm cold! And now I have a warped gas tank door!

I jump back in the car to get home as fast as I can to warm up. Then I got stuck behind a funeral procession, further delaying me getting home and warm. AHHH! I have the worst luck ever. Someone died?! Thanks a lot dude.

Finally I'm now safely in my home wearing double socks and a blanket and I'm filled with warm oatmeal and hot tea. Father Winter, you're a dick. A real cold dick.

- Mo


matt said...

Argh! Frozen gas tank doors are the worst. I used to carry around a paint can opener to open my frozen gas tank. You should be able to pick one up at a hardware store.

Obviously it's too late to help you make your doctor's appointment but maybe it can help with future frozen tank situations.

Steaming bowl o' Calderone said...

You do realize what that attendant was really saying right? "This wouldn't have happened if you lived in Kansas City."

No? That's not what he really meant? That still might have happened here? Damn - back to the drawing board.